May 31, 2018

  Today, I really want to wallow. I want to remember the bad things that have happened to me and imagine the bad things that may be coming. That's how I've lived my life thus far- pursuing every feeling, even if it's negative. I know that sitting in my despair will get me nowhere good; that's what's making me graduate a year late. It's just so easy, and it feels so natural. I want to grow and become more positive, which is really difficult as a natural pessimist and masochist. Instead of indulging my self-destructive impulses, I'm writing about the good things in my life. Today, I'm grateful

• that every day provides new opportunities to start over.
• my friends support my growth.
• I've chosen positivity and warmth. 

May 30th, 2018

I'm thankful for

• pro-life feminism.
•  being included by people who don't have to include me.
• getting to have my own opinions. 

May 29th, 2018

I'm thankful for

• libraries.
• organization.
• art.

May 28th, 2018

I'm thankful that

• I'm allowed to make mistakes. I don't have to be perfect.
• my life is no longer dedicated to recovery. I always thought that my whole life would be me trying to get over my anxiety and depression, and everything I did would be a way to feel better. I don't have to recover right now because my mental illnesses have taken a backseat. They aren't driving my life right now. They're still there, but I'm in control. I'm living my life, not just surviving.
• I have no idea what comes next. As terrifying as that is, I know everything will work out the way it's meant to. Maybe I can't imagine it because it's greater than I can know now. Even if it sucks, that will just make me work harder and be better. God has great things in store for me.

May 27th, 2018

Today, I'm grateful for

• my little nieces.
• the cast of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

I'm sorry this isn't much. I've been incredibly busy the past few days, so I'm exhausted. I feel very blessed, but I can't pick out three specific things. My creative mind is also creating issues for me to worry about, instead of letting me think about the blessings in my life.   

May 26th, 2018

I'm thankful for

• dancing.
• beneficent strangers.
• opportunity.

May 25th, 2018

Today I feel blessed that

• I was able to turn in my essay on time.
• I fell asleep before 2 AM.
• the sky is clear.

May 24, 2018

Today, I thank God that

• I realized the deadline for my essay was soon before it was too late.
• AJR's music exists.
• I have enough food and education to live a happy, healthy life.
• I've grieved over a friendship enough times to process it and to be able keep myself safe from that person. 

May 23rd, 2018

Today, I am thankful for

• being able to get out of bed soon after my first alarm went off.
• spring finally being in full effect.
• a mom who voluntarily makes coffee and offers to take care of my trash.

May 22nd, 2018

Today, I am grateful for. . .

• a hot breakfast in my belly.
• the opportunity to take a college class.
• my laptop working.